5 Insights for a Memorable Year
Lessons Learned and New Beginnings
For the past three years, I've believed that each one was the best. I used to think in terms of winners and losers. In competition, the rule is that someone must lose. Why should I devalue a cherished memory just because I overcame depression and didn't lose a family member in 2023?
Those challenging times made me stronger and taught me valuable lessons that helped shape a better year. So, let's put a spin on it: this year ranks as one of the best in my life thus far.
I've found a formula that worked for me—no competition, no specific goals or rewards attached. It might sound bland because who wants to live without something to fight for?
We fight for our beliefs, defending our philosophy and faith. But if we're already fighting for these, why do we still need to fight for science to be acknowledged? And if we believe our way of living leads to fulfillment, why force it on others?
I've noticed people imposing their beliefs without room for conversation. The communal living spirit post-COVID seems lost to online behaviors and social distancing. People are easily irritable, demanding instant fulfillment just like same-day delivery from Amazon Prime.
We've embraced intelligent assistants but lost patience with anything slower than AI. Our cordial living culture is eroding into reactive and aggressive behaviors, where conflicts arise over trivial matters like loud leaf blowers.
It's vital to pace yourself in life. If you have never run a marathon that is 22 miles long, it is probably safer to start small by running a 3-mile course which is called 5K around here. Sometimes preparing for a longer goal can defeat the purpose of pursuing the goal in the first place.
Consistency matters. Going to the gym once a month, 12 times a year is better than not trying at all. Just like a marathon, everything requires preparation. Endurance-building takes time, but with planning and dedication, success—however you define it—becomes possible.
For me, I defined it as preparing and making the time to train for the Marathon. Doing that each day will give me a sense of purpose in my day-to-day life.
That's the formula I mentioned earlier. While aiming high, anticipate setbacks in your plans to avoid feeling defeated. Setting a goal shouldn't lead to disappointment in yourself.
I used the marathon story to illustrate this philosophy. It might not resonate with everyone, but it's what worked for me.:
1. Meaning is assigned by the observer – This changed my thinking. I realized I didn’t have to interpret meaning solely through the creator's or narrator's lens; I could apply my own perspective to issues. It gave me the creative agency to establish my own rules.
2. Life is a team sport, don’t go alone – "If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together" – African Proverb. No matter how far you can see on your own, having multiple visions in various directions unveils hidden opportunities and provides more pathways to explore. Find a team that you believe in or who believes in you and start from there. You'll thank me later.
3. The person who sweat the shirt will always outperform every day – "There is no replacement for hard work, practice, and putting in the hours. Life is a dress rehearsal," a friend once told me. Successful individuals continue to achieve because they persistently practice what they excel at. Serena Williams and LeBron James didn't become MVPs and stop practicing; they kept refining their expertise. If you desire something intensely, prepare for it, embody the belief that you already possess it, and in some way or another, you'll achieve it.
4. You have more in your favor when no one knows you – Becoming an expert under the spotlight is more challenging. Every star actress or actor you've seen on TV began their career in movie sets that might not have impressed you. In their early stages, they took risks, delivering performances that may have surprised you. As they ascend to stardom, they fear repeating such risks, fearing failure, and tarnishing the impression they've made.
Exceptional individuals often develop in solitude. Find your own path.
5. Be courageous enough to compete – A friend of mine created a beautiful film about Transgender New Yorkers and submitted it for a festival award. They became finalists but didn't win the category they were nominated for during the award show in Los Angeles. When we spoke afterward, they felt defeated, focused solely on the missed prize. I admired their courage to highlight a marginalized community, yet this perceived defeat held a lesson.
If you're waiting to be recognized by a corrupt system based on merit, you might have to compromise your principles. Winning isn't the only outcome; in pursuing your dreams, you never truly lose; there's always a lesson to be learned.
As 2023 draws to a close, a new opportunity to start afresh emerges. Whether you begin today or wait until January 1st (or even beyond), remember this essential lesson: "Trying is better than not trying at all." You can pick up where you left off in March or anytime. Wishing you a successful new year ahead!
With Love
Xoxo.